stress & frustrations.

1. School:
11 units. Before it was 14 units. 11 units. I had freakin' 14 goddamn units! is 11 units even counted as a full time student? is not, then fuck! i'm pissed about it, and i'm stressing to find a class that will accept me. but i all the classes are closed already and i HATE the thought of crashing a class this late in the semester. and plus, if i don't have 12 units, then my VA bill will charge me and my family for all my classes, which is around $200 and right now, we're low on money. the VA bill only pays full payment for the classes if you're only a fulltime student with 12 units. if not, then they charge you.

2. Money/Job:
i barely have money, and whenever i do, i spend it on gas, or i let my brother or mom borrow money. for the past YEAR, i've been looking for a goddamn job. but since this whole economy shit is happening, no one is hiring me. i've applied for borders about 10+ times, petco, petsmart, fry's, office depot, target, wal-mart, sycuan, jobs on craigslist & monster. and NO ONE has replied back to me.

3. Family:
i've been having family issues lately; what a great time to start off the year. it's making me think that i should quit going to school and spend my time finding a job. i don't want to quit school, because i know that it'll benefit me in the end. but i want to so that i can help my family. i'm hating this thought, but i can't help it.

4. Boyfriend:
All these stress and frustration is making me need to stay home and away from my boyfriend. i need him more than anything. he's my savior whenever i need to be save. but my family needs me, and i need to be there for them. it hurts to not see my boyfriend, really. and it makes me sad whenever i don't see him, but responsibilities are responsibilities, and my family needs me.

5. God:
long time ago, God answered my prayers when I prayed for someone to love me, and it worked! But now, God isn't listening to my prayers anymore. I thought God is supposed to help you, and be your savior? he's not answering my prays. i know that God is helping and answering other's prayers, but can I be one of them yet? please?



right now, i just wish everything can just be back to normal.